Getting caught up

So, it's been a while!

Since the last post I made, a lot has changed..... A LOT!

Here's a re-cap :) Patrick and I now live in Las Cruces, New Mexico. I am the store manager of a women's retail clothing store, maurices (check it out here!! www.maurices.com )  And Patrick is the food and beverage director at a beautiful hotel, Hotel Encanto de Las Cruces.

I moved to Las Cruces from San Angelo, Texas last February, and Patrick joined me in June(ish). It was a rough few months at first.....trying to open a brand new store, adjust to a new town, take care of our two fur babies and doing it all without my partner in crime, er life, it was a challenge. Our sweet Beb, our 10 year old female bulldog went to Rainbow Bridge in April.  It took some time for Blue, our buller boy, to adjust but he is really just fine eating up all the attention around here that was previously divided between him and his sister. He keeps us entertained :)

So, time flies when your having fun right?

I love love love being the manager at maurices. The company is great, the team here is amazing, and I have always loved fashion. I was reading my previous blog posts and was laughing at the post I made about skinny jeans.....so I am eating my words a little now....they just weren't that popular at the time! And I thought they were silly for plus sized women....I now have to admit that I do own a pair!

Now, I am all caught up about where we are, what we're doing, and now I can carry on!

xoxo

Hair Helmets, Gold Shoes and Aging Semi-Gracefully

So a while back I made a comment about a woman in front of my co-workers (church work, remember?), about how I would love to see what that woman would look like if she had been thrown in a pool. After the expected gasps of shock, I explained why. I love "little old lady" hair. You know, the stiff hair helmet that NEVER moves! We have us some gale force winds out here in West Texas, and no matter what - come rain,  shine, wind or no wind, it is always perfect! Last Sunday, I had to stop myself from giggling at all of the blue haired ladies in the church with their perfect coifs, just fluffed and sealed with Aqua Net Super Strength for Sunday service. The pool senario just kept running through my head! There is a southern saying which I love "The taller the hair, the closer to God", and by all means, these ladies are getting closer and closer (no age pun intended). I have made a mental list of women that I want to throw in a swimming pool, you know, just to see what they would look like in their state of "drowned rat" without the perfect hair. Obviously I cannot share the names of people that attend my church, or my friends, or family,  but by using Betty White, bless her heart, as an example, I think I get my point across. What would she look like without her signature perfect hair?? And while I am at it, why not throw Donald Trump in a pool too....what is under that hair?? I want to know!

I am terrible, I know this, you don't have to tell me! Also, what is it about getting older that entitles us women to be able to wear gold shoes with velour jogging suits and not think a second thing about it?? Think about it. How often do you see that at the grocery store, Dr's office, on your own grandmother!? I love it, personally. When I am old, thats the old lady I am going to be: Perfectly pouffed hair, gold shoes, velour jogging suit....just you wait.

This brings me to another "pondering point" though.....when does this transistion start? When does a woman decide to put down the flat iron and go to their "beauty operator" and say "Cut it off, give me the hair helmet!"? When do the gold shoes become P.C.? And the gaudy velour jogging suits, usually with some rhinestone accents, and always in a jewel tone, when are those age appropriate?? I guess I will know when I get there. Maybe I should just start now....I need to go find a pair of gold SAS shoes...

Yep, these will do.....

So ugly, they're cute!

As the proud momma of two precious bulldogs, I couldn't resist this poem! Enjoy!

How The Bulldog Got Its Face

When the Good Lord gave out faces to the dogs long ago,

He found, when he had issued them there was still one dog to go -

"Where's this dog's face?" He called aloud, "I know I must have made it.

There must be someone hereabouts who's clumsily mislaid it."

A shy young angel then stepped up, "Forgive me, Lord," he said.

He stuttered and he stammered and he turned a little red-

"I never thought it was a face - it fell out of your bag.

So I thought you had discarded it as just a piece of rag.-

"So I promptly went and used it for so very many things,

Like polishing up the halos and waxing up the wings.

"It's creased and crumpled as you see - in truth it's a disgrace..

I don't know how. my dearest Lord, you can use it for a face.

"I realise it's all my fault, and there's no one else to blame.

I trust you can forgive me Lord, My heart's so full of shame."

"Of course I have forgiven you, but here we've got a mess,

So I'll make amends to this poor dog and him I'll truly bless.

"He'll be called an 'English Bulldog' that's about the only place

Where the people are so silly as to love an ugly face.

But he'll be kind and gentle and of courage he'll be full -

As well as love and loyalty - the ugly, lovely Bull."

And that is how, my children, in that long-gone year of grace

The dear old English Bulldog got his lovely, ugly face. . .

By A.N.K. Hobbs

So I gave up impatience for Lent, not negativity or sarcasm.....

So, as you may have guessed, or picked up from my ramblings on here, yes, I am a pleasantly plump, chubby girl.  No poor pitiful me stories....I know that I need to lose weight, I know that I need to get healthy, and I have tried, am trying, and will try for the rest of my life, I am just that kinda blessed with this wonderfully huge ass that I am realistic in the fact that I will have to work my entire life to get it off and keep it off.

So why am I being negative today??? I will tell you why - when over 60% of the female population of the United States is considered "obese" why doesn't somebody capitalize on the fact that about 59% of the said 60% is young? There are websites for "Plus Size Teens" and then there are the stores and websites for "Plus Size Women (read: old ladies)" there is nothing in between. I don't mean to bitch bitch bitch....but good greif! I was recently browsing some plus size duds online, since it is not cool to have more than one rack of "Plus Size" clothing in department stores, and I spent most of my time laughing.

Here's the thing.....there is a great store here in San Angelo that sells clothes for sizes from 0-28, but, BUT, the fat girl side has no bras, bathing suits, panties or pajamas. This made me mad at first, so I wrote a letter to their corporate office (after I put one of the bras on my thigh in the store to make a point that it fit around my thigh just fine, but did not do anything for my boobs whatsoever). I explained to them that plus size women do in fact wear underwear, go swimming (wether you like it or not) and sleep with pajamas on. I never heard anything back personally from the corporate world, but the store did receive a shipment of chubby gal pj's with a letter stating that they had plans to expand the chubby side of the store. Well.....we'll see about that.

SO....back to my online browsing....here is what I have found recently, and my reasoning for HATING it. If I had the $$ or a financial backer, I would sooooo have a clothing line. Anyway....enjoy!

So I am headed to the beach in April for my annual Renewal of Sanity trip to Sandfest and I am shopping for a bathing suit. Lord knows that I will be putting a tank top and shorts over it anyway, so I really am not too particular about the suit, but this one cracks me up. Do you know why??? I beg you to find the reason why..... Ok, I give up on you: notice the metal ring between the "boobies" on this suit? You know what that does to a fat girl?? It would look like a biscuit between the boobs of the more well endowed women out there. Just sayin'

Ridiculousness #2. These are called Plus Size Skinny Jeans.......am I the only one that knows what an oxymoron is?? Really. No woman over a size 6 needs to wear skinny jeans......ever......enough said.

Oh yes, these are stirrup pants, do not adjust your screen. If you will notice the model wearing them is not exaclty what I would call "Plus Sized" at all, although these are being sold on a plus size website. Some things should never, ever make a comeback, these are it. ESPECIALLY in plus size.

Really......this exhausts me......just say no to rompers if you are over a size 6.

Well, I feel better....hope everyone has a groovy day!! :)

Just a Thursday night outing.... :)

Here are the pictures of our trip to Electric Voodoo tattoo shop last night!

Many thanks to Randy.....Dad and I are both very happy! :)

Mine just after he finished working on it - where the red is will be pink when it is healed.

What it looks like today....much better...still touchy though!

Dad during the tattoo, the outline, no color yet.

Here he is with it finished - black outline with red on the inside.

White Trash? nah!

As I mentioned, I have a couple of tattoos; a tree of life with faith, hope, and love in Gaelic on my back, a clover and a tribal sun on my hips, and I am itching for one more. Tattoos are addicting, I won't lie, I love 'em!

Several months ago my Dad and I started talking about getting a tattoo together, and we are finally going to do it! :)

Let me back up and tell you a little about the person my Dad is; he is eclectic. He is a rancher and contract pumper in the oil field. He does guided hunts on their ranch during hunting season. He is a very active volunteer with the prison ministry in Texas, and this is just one of his passions. He is on his motorcycle every chance he gets. He wears do-rags and has a long gray braid down his back and a full gray beard (picture Jerry Garcia and Willie Nelson's love child). If there is one thing I can say about him it is that he is passionate. He is passionate about his family, his heritage, his ranch, his prison ministry and his motorcycle aptly named 'Pearl'. Pearl is named after his two favorite women in his life, his grandmother, my great grandmother Pearl, who passed away in 2006 and his wife, my mother whose name is Sharena Pearl. Consequently these two women have big my biggest influences in my life, and are forever my heroes.

So, Thursday, my Dad and I are going to go get matching tattoos of the name 'Pearl'. Most people would consider this a little less than classy, but frankly, darling, I don't give a darn!

Dad and I haven't had the greatest relationship during my life, especially when I was a know it all teenager, but I am looking foward to this experience with my Dad. It is a bonding of sorts I guess. As an adult I have come to realize (with some help from therapy :) ) that my Dad has always done the best he could for his family, come thick or thin. Now, I wouldn't trade the sweet man I have come to know all over again for anything, he has become my spritual advisor, and one hell of a great Dad.

Thursday evening we are going to get the name Pearl tattooed on our bodies as a forever reminder of the women that have influenced our lives so strongly. For me it will also be a reminder of my Dad and his love for these two incredible women, and for me.

Short & Stumpy

Went shopping with a dear friend last Friday night and had a ball.  We went to the mall to make a pit stop at Bath & Body works (hellar! 20% email coupon, that could be used on items already on sale! I have enough body wash to last me until I am 30) and to buy him some gloves at Dillard's. Um....it was a Three Hour Tour for sure.

Bath & Body went off without a hitch, then we stopped in at Dillard's, only to discover that they are having the BEST SALE EVER! My friend ended up with a stunning suit, two pairs of fantastic shoes, and two very nice sweaters.....and he only spent $200!! Um...and he didn't get the gloves :) I ended up with a new Fiestaware place setting in "Lemongrass" at half price. We shopped victoriously, fo' sho'!

Things were going well until I started browsing the "Big and Tall" section while my shopping companion was in the dressing room. My husband is built like a NFL offensive lineman.....huge shoulders, 54" chest, 20" neck, 42X30 pants.....so he is a shortish NFL offensive lineman only coming in at 5'10".  The mega sale had some mega brand names marked down like  80%, dress shirts, pants, sweaters- you name it, it was on sale.....here is my problem:

Patrick does not fall into "BIG & TALL" or "REGULAR" men's clothing catagories. The biggest waist size I could find in the "regular" area was 40", granted they did have 2X shirts, but they had about three in the entire store that were circa 1992.  So when I moved on to the big and tall section I discovered plenty of 42" and 44" pants......with inseams only as short as 34".  Then I check out the shirts, dress shirts, fabulous dress shirts in a 2X......but they would have come down to his knees!!!! I wanted to curl into the fetal position and cry between the clothing racks.

Here is my solution:

Like the women's department, why is there not a Petite section for men?? Even in the women's plus size sections you can find Plus/Petite for us short, chubby girls. I mean, really, it is an oxymoron for sure; the whole plus sized but petite at the same time, but apparently if you have the waist size that I do,  you are expected to be 6'2",  which I am FAR from. Now, you also can not call a men's department Big & Petite, you wouldn't catch any men there.....EVER. So what are we left with?? Short & Stumpy?? Vertically Challenged & Stocky?? Husky & Close to the Ground?? My vote is for Short & Stumpy.